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11 Apr 2006

Stiff kick up the *
I am really mad as a snake now!!
Okay – here’s the story

CS – think you will remember me??? Everything is going well, BF recovered very well form that bout of Glandular Fever

Bf finished his studies last year - Chiropractics – the academic side. This year he still need to complete a hefty research project and finish his internship (oh by the way they don’t get a salary)

BF is 32 ….been overseas a few years, in other fields of study, but know he has passed all that is needed expect for this dawnting dissertation and the internship. To top it all we have a long distance relationship as his finishing his studies at DIT (KZN) – and the distance is difficult for us both

Sometimes when we chat he and his (younger) friends are either playing golf, or playing playStation – I never hear he is in the library or busy with his dissertation. This really bothers me. We are speaking of taking the relationship to the next level and all those things. Although his parents is paying for his studies (he did also make some money while abroad) I bear most of the financial weight: I will fly down to visit every couple of weeks, most of the times I sponsor when we go out.

His younger friends wont be as badly affected if they have to stay a year longer to finish up their studies as him. He gets very abrupt when we speak about these things – and I know out of 1st hand experience that research is not monkey games – I wasted a lot of time when I did my masters – on just not knowing where to start. I don’t want to sound like a bitch, or his mother – but hey…….he need to finish – and come home!!!!!! Oh damn – what am I to do???
Answer 342 views

01 Jan 0001

Hello Blompot,
let me sand back, to avoid the escaping high-pressure steam !
Don't try to take too much responsibility for your bf's decisions, choices and actions. He's a big boy now, and old enough to know that his dissertation will require hard work ; and not to frittle away his time on playing around. He shouldn't delay his qualification and earning, assuming that you will carry part of the financial burden of the relationship, and his parents the rest. He will not be helped by you taking over the responsibilities that must be his. Maybe when you are together, you can talk with feeling about the difficulties you found with regard to research / dissertations, and sound him out about why he's getting stuck. Maybe he doesn't feel capable of it, and he's too scared to admit it or to ask for help ?
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