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12 Apr 2006

Suicidal thoughts overwhelming me!!!
Im in some serious need of some help, and some answers. About a month ago i left my boyfriend, dont ask me why, because i have trouble understanding why i did that aswell. I tried to go back to him after about 4 days. He wouldnt take me back. Anyhoo, its been over a month now, im staying with my parents again, i work here as well, for my dad. It seems like stress and depression are taking me over now. Everyday i try to get back with my boyfriend, and try undertsnad why he wont have me back, he cant seem to give me a straight answer. Last night my dad got so angry, he told me i need to get over him now, because its messing everything up, and pretty soon im going to lose my job too. This really hurt me. I had a serious episode after that, started thinking about how i can take my life, how can i end this, these thoughts have never been so strong as they were last night.
To put the cherry on the cake, my dog has billary too, he is my everything, and if i lose him too, i dont know what ill do. I dont know what to do anymore, i dont want to be on medication, as i have been on 3 different types of anti depressant, none of which have worked for me, so i dont want to go back to that.
I so badly want to leave my ex alone, but something tells me, dont give him up, but im making him angry now, and i really need to leave him alone.
Is there anyone who can help me, am i the only person that never stops thinking about everything. I sometimes wish i could just nock my head to forget everything thats happened, i dont want to remember this, because it is slowly taking its toll on me.
Answer 373 views

01 Jan 0001

Please folks, do NOT bring suicidal crises and similar emergencies to the forum --- if your house is on fire, don't send me a postacrd, call the firebrigade ! It sounds from your description that you really ened to see a good local counsellor, to understand, apparently, why you broke up this relationship, and why you are feeling so overwhelmed by this. But for goodness sake, this is ONE man in your life, and while maybe you made a mistake and were hasty, and maybe you miss him --- its no reason for thinking about suicide ? NEVER ever give away the power over your life to someone else like that. YOu DO need to see a ood counsellor, and ask your GP to recommend one who does CBT ( COgnitive-Behaviour Therapy ) counselling, which has been found to be as efective as antidepressants. And DO leave your ex alone, at least for now. Maybe after he's had some weeks to think it over, his attitude might change --- but for now you may be driving him away by trying too fiercely to drag him back.
As Buterfly says, you too need the time and distance to sort this out, so don't be so impatient. And FRoxanne's comments are useful, too
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