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14 Nov 2006

suicide of a sibling
hi Anon

suicide has nothing to do with a note or whatever media preconceptions there are with death. i tried to commit suicide because i was suffering from undiagnosed bi-polar as well as post-natal depression i also did not realise i was suffering. leaving a child behind does not come into the equation because at that moment your life has so little purpose that you dont want even your child tainted by your hopelessness.

you may never understand and that's ok. unless you have been to the bottom of the black pit of whatever your personal demons are, suicide will never make sense to you.

each of us is made up of unique chemicals and balances and to try and sum something up with a note is not going to take the pain away.

the fact that none of you saw it or noticed it is not your fault. i hid my depression pretty well until i completely fell apart and my entire family was so angry. why? because of the guilt they felt for being too involved in their own lives and that is not wrong either.

she is at peace. her pain and her darkness are no longer. let her go. understand that for some of us, that is the only way to make the ache go away.

life is for the living. her son deserves to be raised by someone as wonderful as you are who can keep her beautiful memory alive for him.

may God bless you and give you all that you need to do this for him.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Very well said, Annouk. Suicides typically develop a sort of funnel vision in which they see less and less of the good things in life ( its been shown that they actually don't tend to perceive or recognize or remember the good things that are always around, and selectively notice, recall, and dwell on whatever is negative ) ; and it's also not uncommon for them to hide the depth of their despair from others, nto allowing you a chance to help.
She lives on in the good memories you and her son share, and between you, you can keep that good part of her still remembered, and alive in that way
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