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31 Jan 2004

suicide....help!
Please help me....as I'm feeling now, I just want to die, but I still have my children to think of.
It all started 2 years back and now i just had it....
I was a professional person, earing a lot of money and respect.....and when i fell pregnant for the second time, my husband decided that it was a good idea to take some time off and stay at home. At that stage he earned a lot of money and now two years later even more. He had grown in his career and is stepping up in society.
But i'm just where i was two years back....no income, even sold my car, no bank account any more because all my money was used up.He is not paying me any allowance and i have to beg for money when i even need a simple thing like a hair cut. Sometimes he is not coming home and stays out until 3 or 4 in the monings.
I can not afford to divorse him, because i have nothing and to get work in our town is almost impossible. Then i will still have to get some one to look after my children. I have no friends and no support structure any more.
I never felt this used and abused. Even when i try to talk to him he starts blamming me for everything that is not nice. What did i do so wrong?....just looked after my children and became a boring housewife!
I need help urgently... and if it was not for my children i will have to take my own life, because this is no life anymore..........
Answer 385 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear cat,
It's easy to understand how distressing this must be for you, and I guess the situation arose before you recognized how vulnerable you had become. But let's be reliasitc. Your husband is behaving selfishly and unreasonably, but if you had to divorce him, he'd be likely to have to pay you a considerable amount, as you sacrificed a well-paying career to stay and care for the kids and enable him to prosper in his career. YOu need to consult a good lawyer ( even initially at a univsesity law faculty free law clinic ) --- it may well be that HE cannot afford to have you divorce him. Sek personal counselling from a social worker, or maybe an agency like POWA, dealing with abused women, as this situatuion is psychological and financial abuse. You did nothing wrong, so don't believe his convenient fiction, when he blames you for his failings.
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