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15 Jul 2005

Teary and emotional all week...and today!
Hello CS,

I can’t even begin to describe how glad I am that it’s Friday. Work’s been hectic, to say the least (and I really am enjoying it) – I just don’t seem to finish what needs to be done during the day. We’ve had a lot of people with power trips giving us huge roadblocks at work, and in the past week (and even now), I’m trying to get 6 month’s work done by Monday. I’m going to have to work over the weekend too!
I don’t know if it’s work stress, CS, but I’ve been feeling incredibly teary this whole week! Yesterday I was fine actually, but I’d find myself getting worked up over the most stupid thing, wanting to burst into tears about it, and 2 hours later, I’d have made a solution to my temporary frustration and can’t believe it was even an issue!
I decided to take it a little slower today, but now my mind has wondered to all sorts of things I don’t want to be thinking about and those are people…erm…I mean things that I had made a decision on to get rid of in my life!
I was at my psychologist on Wednesday, where I burst into tears in front of her for the first time. She thinks I’m making excellent progress, and that I’m finally giving into my stubbornness and “grieving” what’s been going on with me. I also have to learn to rely on other people rather than wanting to do everything myself. And that is probably the hardest thing for me at the moment! The perfectionist in me is putting up a fight about that all the way!
Anyway, I just felt like having a chat with you.
Hope you’re well, I haven’t been here for a while, so I’m not up to date on how you’re feeling and how your arm is?
Take care and have a good weekend,

Answer 266 views

01 Jan 0001

Hello Mindful,
Nice to hear from you again. Nice to hear that you're enjoying the work. being a bit over-stressed by anything, including work, may well make us a bit more emotionally fragile, whether towards tearfulness or irritability. Its good to hear that your psychologist thinks you're making good progress, too. Maybe part of this tearfulness has been that grieving, as part of giving up the hurts you've been carrying round for so long.
The arms a bit better this week. Ocasionally useful in small ways ( which is better than feeling Armless !) Before the pains were in the bone, and one hesitated to even move it ; now the bone feels more secure, and the pains are in the muscles, but I think tat's a form of progress. sometimes progress is like that --- not that you're pain-free yet, but you have a better class of pain ?
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