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Question

04 Feb 2004

The word trust!!!!!!!!
Hi doc. I have a big problem with trust! I battle to trust anyone even my best friend and it cause a big problem in my relationship. I really love my girl and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to take the next step in our relationship - get engaged - and before i can do that do i need to get myself to trust her. Every little small thing that happens makes me supicious. What can I do?
Answer 410 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Wel,
I wonder why you find it so hard to trust een a loving person. Perhaps you have had prevous bad experiences of someone betraying your trust, resulting in excessively broad generalized conclusion you may have drawn. Too often, we swtich from being totally, uncritically and unselectively trusting of everyone, to being totally, uncritically and unselectively untrusting of everyone --- and neither extreme position is accurate or useful.
Counseling can help us to deal with such issues, and CBT, which I have discussed often in this Forum. Sometimes there are issues of low self-esteem, leading to your forming false expectations that no really nice person would want to trust you.
Be aware that being excessively mistrustful can create the situation you fear, because nobody appreciates being mistrusted unjustly.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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