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05 Dec 2005

To ...
Hi there
Thanks for your reply to my posting earlier.
I hear what you're saying.. and I admit that you might be right.
Maybe if I explain my situation better, you might get a different view on things, maybe not? Maybe you can give another opinion?
As I've mentioned before, our relationship has neeever been just moonshine and roses. It's been rocky, since the beginning. It's now two years later (literally, today) and yes - we've come a long way, but the same things still come up. His drinking habits, bad friend, this burning sensation in my heart that I want a little more out of life (although I love him so much). There were times where I've accepted that this is how my life will be, marrying this guy, moving into a nice place, having children (soon, as he's not getting any younger) and thus giving up a lot of things, including a lot of my dreams. And it's good - the thought of being with him for the rest of my life.. but it's not GREAT. For some reason a small part of me always believed that there might be someone out there that would treat me just that extra bit better etc.
Why spend this festive season with him? Because of the fact that when we break up, I take it really hard. It affects my family and friends, especially my mother and father, brother and sister. We went through a rough patch last year over Christmas (my bf and I) and although I put up a brave face, Christmas season wasn't great at all last year. I don't want to do that to my family again. I am going to go on as if nothing's wrong, for their sake. I feel it's the right thing to do. After that, when the new year comes, I'll need to make some decisions. I've tried many times to stand up for what I want and believe in with this guy... what does he do? He doesn't feel it's important enough and forces me to accept things the way they are, including the friend that causes me sleepless nights.
I need to get out of the house, away from my comfort zone, away from this relationship that's not really going anywhere (not the way I need it to go) and away from the person I am now, because this is not who I really am...

Answer 376 views

01 Jan 0001

There is, surely, much better in store for you --- he is not your only alternaive
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