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30 Nov 2005

To anyone who ever had an affair - please help
My husband had an affair almost two years ago and it lasted for ten months (we've been married for 9 years and have no children). The other woman was married with two kids. He ended the affair and we went for marriage counselling for almost a year. I really felt that it helped at the time. Lately I've been getting down again on a more regular basis and I am starting to think that our marriage will never work out, because I haven't forgiven my husband and MOST DEFINITELY not the other woman. I am feeling so desperate at the moment and I am so dissapointed in myself for being so weak. I keep on telling myself that we can get through this, but then I get down again and re-live the whole thing. I keep on reminding my husband of everything that happened, of all the lies he told me etc and then I feel bad afterwards. I cannot continue punishing him for the rest of his life.
I still wish that this woman would phone or e-mail me and apologise for what she has done to me. I often wonder if she is sorry and if she ever thinks about the damage that she has caused me. I don't for one moment think that she is to blame alone and I know that my husband was not a victim and enjoyed every moment of the affair.
Is there anyone out there that had an affair and apologised to the hurt wife or husband? Did it make you feel better and do you think that this will make a difference in my life? I am so tired of hating this woman. It is destroying me and I know it will destroy my marriage as well. I have always been so postive and I used to love life, but lately I am depressed, sad and I cry too often. Before this happened, I always thought that my life was perfect and I still cannot believe that this happened to me and that my life has changed so much.
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01 Jan 0001

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