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Question
16 Jul 2005
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To CS .... Continue our session on "Tough Love"
Care to continue this session? I didn't get your full version and how you apply the concept in the case of a cheater
I know the concept as it is applied to Alchoholics, Drug Addicts etc etc but I was particularly interested in how you would go about applying this to a cheater or a recovering cheater
I know the concept as it is applied to Alchoholics, Drug Addicts etc etc but I was particularly interested in how you would go about applying this to a cheater or a recovering cheater
CyberShrink
Oddly ( must be a repercussion of my concussion ) I dont quite recall our having begun such a session.
I'm sure many others among our irreglars will have differing views on how to implement Tough Love, but I think in any context, including cheating, it includes a clear declaration that there will no longer be an infinite number of "last chances", an end to what some in the USA like to call "co-dependency", an end to enabling and indulgence which makes it easyier for a person to continue ( cheating, drinking, whatever form of malfunction). It means that while one might ultimately be prepared to forgive the one who errs, it won't be the automatic, reflex, repeated "forgiving" that is disasterously pushed upon victims these days by quack clerics and others, but a reasonable response to the perp having given lasting, convincing evidence of having regretted and repented, and changed. Forgiving the unchanged, in a way that is almost a blessing to continue erring, benefits nobody.
I'm sure many others among our irreglars will have differing views on how to implement Tough Love, but I think in any context, including cheating, it includes a clear declaration that there will no longer be an infinite number of "last chances", an end to what some in the USA like to call "co-dependency", an end to enabling and indulgence which makes it easyier for a person to continue ( cheating, drinking, whatever form of malfunction). It means that while one might ultimately be prepared to forgive the one who errs, it won't be the automatic, reflex, repeated "forgiving" that is disasterously pushed upon victims these days by quack clerics and others, but a reasonable response to the perp having given lasting, convincing evidence of having regretted and repented, and changed. Forgiving the unchanged, in a way that is almost a blessing to continue erring, benefits nobody.
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