Ask an expert
Question

10 Nov 2006

to CS re my sexual preferences
CS, at age 42 and still unmarried and not all that interested in guys I am having doubts about my sexual preferences.....might I be lesbian?

I would like a partner, it does not have to be a live-in one or anything close to marriage, but I do get lonely and although I have had many boyfriends, i have never really LOVED any of them except the current one (4yrs relationship).....but I can see this is also heading nowhere.

I had some a very long gay r-ship when at varsity. Then I met some cute guys and have been straight since.

Personality-wise I prefer women but I am not sure I will be fully satisfied in a relationship with one.....the sex will be lacking something for sure (and no, a dildo won't make up for it).

I don't like most men and probably only feel attracted to 1 out of every 150. I find them aggresive, violent, racist, hypocrits (those going to church, usually) and quite dull...especially those who only watch rugby and drink beer on weekends....quite common here in Pretoria. Not sensitive and compassionate enough, in short.

Is my fussiness a sign of repressed lesbianism or am i just very picky......

Another thing : i have no issues re being gay...it is not against my religious or moral beliefs....I am just not sure it is for me.


I suppose some of us never meet someone to settle down with.



Answer 303 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I think you may be conflating several separable elements here. OK, you don't like men who are "aggresive, violent, racist, hypocrits (those going to church, usually) and quite dull." But you surely wouldn't like the company of women who are "aggresive, violent, racist, hypocrits (those going to church, usually) and quite dull", either.
Disliking those charactristics in other people isn't a sign of 'repressed lesbianism" or repressed anything else, in Snor City or elsewjere --- it's a sign of good taste.
And for most people, there's a difference between the sort of people whose company you enjoy, as friends ( and many women prefer women as friends ) and the sort of people you enjoy having sex with ; and the sort of people you enjoy as a long-term companion / spouse.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9362 votes
No
67% - 19305 votes
Vote