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29 Nov 2005

To FIO and Jakes: Forgiveness
To FIO and Jakes

It took me 8 years to forgive. Forgiveness is a process and there is no magic formula to rush it. All those feelings you are feeling is absolutely normal and it is important to go through each of the phases that one goes through after a loss or divorce. In my case, my husband cheated on me while I was pregnant with my son. He allowed the girlfriend to terrorize me and I ended up in the hospital almost losing the baby. I divorced him 2 months after the baby’s birth and he left the house 2 weeks after the baby’s birth. The girlfriend was so nasty she even sent me flowers to the hospital after giving birth to my baby boy, just to remind me of her presence during this special time. I raised my 2 sons alone in extremely difficult circumstances, financially and emotionally, because I suffered from post natal depression and eventually tried to commit suicide. My stomach was pumped out and that saved my life. My baby later developed tuberculosis and without a medical aid I had to go the state clinic every month to get the pills. There was no syrups available, so I had to crush the pills and give it to him that way. My ex did not pay any maintenance for 2 years, but I went to an attorney and now I get it each month. My life changed when I met my new husband, we married 2 years ago, have a lovely baby girl and we are extremely happy together. My stepdaughters make it difficult some times, but I won’t let the negatively that in fact comes from their mother get me down. I will win them over with love and goodness. I believe that hardship makes a person stronger and eventually you will become a wise person with real inner peace. I lost something, but I gained much more. When one door closes, another one opens. Be patient and in time, your life will change too.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Friend, thanks for telling us your own heartening story, and for reminding us of how we can triumph even over situations that look hopeless
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