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21 Dec 2004

too close but not too late yet
i have been suffering from inrceased bouts of rage and all directed towards the one person i want to hurt the most .
it has all started over i believe the last 10 years, from having no money the arguments were about exactly that ,
to day we are financialy stable to a degree " no bond nice house relativley good buisness great kids all the toys that 30 somthing men buy " but then there is this over powering feeling of lack of achievement or even self worth, which manefests itself into anger,
first the shouting and increasing volume and language even in front of my kids and then rage.
tantrums , usualy over nothing atall just a build up and justified to my self for many reasons "lack of respect from my wife ,controlling me, lack of comunication, etc" then violent out bursts and even now developing into handling my wife ,pushing ,shaking threatening harm.
i have zero remorse or feeling after the out bursts and some times non atall but most instances i suffer remorse , but i dont know weather it is my selfishness that i feel remorse "my feer of loosing my world " or sorry for my actions
i am afraid these feelings and actions will deteriate to the degree that i will start feeling suicidal in these fits of rage and do some stupid thing at the wrong time due to the rage inside
your advise and coments would be most enlightening
and if there is an over counter supliment natural prefered that i could take to chalenge my self back on track
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hi kd, Sounds as if, though the problem may express itself in rage towards your spouse or others, the real problem lies in a sense of low self-worth and self-esteem, and of previously missed opportunites. While such anger may be understandable, it's obviously not at all useful --- it provides little relief and no solutions.
This situation certainly is amenable to help, especially as you have already taken the most important step, of recognizing that you have a problem and that it needs to be dealt with. Arrange to see a good clinical psychologist or psychiatrist for a proper assessment, and then discuss treatment options. Psychotherapy / counselling, dealing with these issues of self-esteem, and anger management, could make a really significant difference, to the benefit of all of you
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