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30 Jun 2005

Two year old son
My two yr old son has suddenly developed the habit of asking me to lie on his stomach or willy, also he likes to touch his dad's willy. Last night he sat on his dad's stomach (naked, we were about to get in the bath) and he was trying to put his willy in his dad's belly button (dad has a fat stomach). His father is concerned about it and I said that we must just ignore it and not hit him as he doesn't understand what he is doing. The father & I are not sexually involved for over two years now and we show very little affection to each other. We are not married and had a good relationship until the birth of our son, were the father then had an affair and another baby with a lady at his work. The relationship ended and the father now stays with me again. We have developed a good friendship and both love our son dearly. How should we react to our son's behaviour? I suffer from anxiety and am on Lorien (40mg) and my mom is bi-polar, so at times stress is high in my family.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Relax, Liesl, your son is probably only being curious and exploring in way kids do ; but your anxiety about such situations can make him unnecessarily uneasy. At aoround this age, kids learn to masturbate, and ind a pleasant new source of nice feelings, and they don't have our sense of guilt or shame about body parts.
Hitting is of no value whatever, and could make him feel bad about being normal, which is hardly what you want. As Purple wisely says, the best bet is to distract him and interest him in other acivities at the time ; and if he shows interest in such activities when others are aound, to remind him that willy's are private, and not for fiddling with when others are around.
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