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29 Jan 2004

Uncomfortable Working Situation
Hi Doc,

I started working back my bursary to my company last year. I'm based in Pretoria, but my working area is in Nelspruit - I have to go there at least twice a month for project progress meetings and site visits. I work with 3 project managers there. Last year, one of the PM's (he is married) started hitting on me. I guess I was to naiive to realise what was happening. I took his questioning into my personal life as just friendly interest. Towards the end of the year, he started phoning me and made comments on the way I dressed - how he secretly wanted to photograph me. I don't think I dress very "reavealingly" compared to some ladies in his office, and I felt distressed about this. Then he one day he confessed that he was hoping to seduce me, but he could see that he was getting no where with me. I was so embarrassed, I just blushed and looked down into my lap. I realise that I should have stopped him there, and that my silence might have encouraged him. I sent him an e-mail the next day and asked him to stop talking about things like that. Since then I have avoided going to Nelspruit, but eventually I had to go. To say I was uncomfortable is an understatement! I noticed that he was just as uncomfortable. My problem is that I have to spend a lot of time on site with him, as is my job requirements, but I'm scared to death! I hoped that this whole ugly situation was behind us, but I keep thinking that when we eventually have to go on site visits, that something is going to come up...and I don't handle conflict very well!!! How must I handle this situation?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear NA,
You're describing the behaviour of a louse. Report him immediately to HIS superiors and to whatever division / dept in your company deals with stafing issues. Such Sexual Harrassment is forbidden and should be stamped out by the company.
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