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28 Jan 2004

Please help me I am extremely unhappy. I dont know why. I have a beautiful house, car, a husband that adores me and a healthy baby. I did not have a happy childhood and have no affection for others. I feel nothing. I think I am unable to love back and is cold. I hide this very well. I use people. Before I got married I was engaged 3 times with different men. I used them to entertain me, take me places etc and give me security. When I had enough or when they start to irritate me I drop them - just like that. If I think about this now I dont think I ever had any intention of getting married to them. I am scared that I might do the same to my husband. I love him and unintentionally use emotional blackmail. How can I stop this. I am fairly attractive with a poor selfesteem. My husband gives me anything I want. I give him nothing in return. I hate doing this but cant help myself. I went to a shrink before I got married just to clear my head. Ive been married for 5+years. I love our baby more than anything and is scared that I might "transfer" this unhealthy "attitude" to her. I sometimes have nightmares at night dreaming that I am a bad mother. Any suggestions?
Answer 326 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear ME,
OK, I doubt very much that you're a bad mother, and you won't be likely to transfer these heartless tendencies yo perceive in yourself, to our child. You describe yourself as if a heartless and uncaring person, but such people really don't have the insight to recognize what they're doing, or to care about the hurt this can cause, nor do they want to change. Therefore, whatever you derived from your previous experiences which has led you to develop this pattern of esponse ( and an unhappy and unloved childhood provided litle or no opportunity to learn loving from experience ) this is something I am sure with your intelligence, insight, and basically caring nature, you could work out very well in counselling with a good clinical psychologist.
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