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07 Feb 2013

unhappy marraige
hi i''ve been in a loveless and sexless marraige for the past 4 years, the begining was amazing but then things changed. he is very caring and sweet but i''m not happy, he doesnt fullfil my other needs and desire''s. as a result i started an affair with a married collegue, it''s amazing i feel things that i longed for...wat do i do...my family loves my husband, thats another things holding me back, that and i''m scared of not finding any1 else....
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

No. This is not not how to solve things. Having an affair with a married person is never ever justified, and causes pain all round ( even though you are finding it temporarily fulfilling at present ).
Firstly try to solve whatever problems you have in your marriage - you dont mention any attempt at marriage counselling. If that fails, move to divorce, and only think of fresh relationships once you are again personally free. This guy may well not want to continue once you're more formally available, but any new relationship after that will be more honest on both sides.
"It's so hard ?" You think it'll be easy when your husband and his wife find out about it ? Or when, having already cheated on his wife, he might cheat on you ?
Don't seek what's easy, seek what's just and effective
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