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06 Apr 2006

UPDATE
Hello again CS.
Thought I’d update you on what’s been happening with my Mother. After agreeing to see the psychologist with me, I received an sms yesterdays stating that this is all becoming ‘long in the tooth’ & I must please meet her this afternoon at 4 ‘o clock.

I had my first appointment with the psychologist yesterday (excellent lady) & after going through as much as we could in an hour she said that she can see that I’ve been through a lot in my life & it’s not as simple as us both seeing her & reconciling as it will not be a proper reconciliation with the issues running a lot deeper than a simple argument. She said she can definitely help me & will help me to be able to handle conflict, become more confident in myself etc. She said my biggest problem is that I am constantly worried about what my Mother thinks or will think & say. I have apparently not gone through the process of ‘letting go of the apron strings’ as should be done when a child grows up – I have not been allowed to let go. She will take me through this process. After seeing her yesterday, I can’t say I feel any better but I guess it’s just the first consultation. I feel down & depressed today & cannot wait for the day when I can wake up without a heavy feeling on my heart.

I sent my Mother an e-mail this morning saying the following:-

"Thank you for your sms but I unfortunately will not be able to meet you at the xxx today as these issues cannot be fixed overnight and I am not in the right place emotionally to discuss them with you alone.

I have had a meeting with xxxxx (psychologist) & she has recommended that she sees us both individually for a couple of sessions before seeing us together. She has invited you to make an appointment with her & to contact her in the next few days as from next week she is on leave for 2 weeks. Her telephone number is xxxxx should you wish to make an appointment."

I am sure I will not receive a good response to this. My nerves are finished
Answer 339 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like you've found yourself a good therapist, who seems to have made wise and useful comments. Maybe you feel disappointed if you had expected a quick fix, but a real fix is more important. Your response to your mom sounds polite, firm, and useful. It'll take a while for her to learn how to make a good response --- that's her faul, and her responsibility. Relax, keep working at your side of it --- you'll do fine
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