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14 Jul 2005

update/ prelims have begun.. going strong,but is mom the problem?
hi CS,
My prelims begun today with Maths, I think I did so so so well. I really felt like I could have gotten 100 percent for that paper today but due to weird reasons, im suffering insomnia i think, so instead of lying awake doing nothing I thought i might as well polish off my maths syllabus, and I did, I worked through from 8pm to 7am and didnt feel tired one bit! But at least I know I did well and passing matric looks good so far... There were too many things on my mind, too many unresolved issues like with my best friend who has been distancing herself from me and cos last night I started getting paranoid about AIDS due to my rape, I havent been tested as yet. The eating was shocking, and cutting and I swollowed a months supply of topomax and lilly fluoxetene... because I felt like I hadnt expressed my feelings in ages, but at least learning was good? I cannot sleep if I have unresolved issues but at least I was to see melissa today, so my feelings are under control again

Then today after my exam today, my counsellor melissa (who works part time at my school ) took me out to lunch to touch base since we missed our Tuesday appointment and for me to have a break. She makes me eat lunch with her sometimes as part of my therapy (getting over a fear of food and socialising with food). I told her the stuff I have been telling you over the past few days, she got so worried that now she is saying her and I are going for lunch everyday after each exam just to make sure I cope and make it through this important time without doing anything stupid.

It was a relief to get issues out in the open. I think she made me realise my mom may be my problem with food...? My moms supportive in a way but she hides what I do from my dad, as if my illness is something to be ashamed of. I was the one who stole R500 from her, as she had stolen money from me first and condoms from me just incase I have sex from my boyfriend. Im by no means a stealer of any sort. I just have anger to her. She reads my personal stuff. When I told her about me being raped, because Melissa made me.. she didnt even make it a big deal (not that I want symapthy) but surely a mom would suggest her daughter get all the help she needs after such a traumatic incident, such as gynae check ups and AIDS tests???
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hello Kylee,
Pleased to hear the maths prelim went well, though I'd rather you got some good sleep as well. As Eyes, says, sleep deprivation can badly affect performence, more than one may realize oneself. You still need to eat properly and stop cutting; and taking anything more than the absolutely correct dose of topamax and fluoxetine could be harmful and couldn't possibly in any way be helpful.
Actually, we CAN sleep even if we have unresolved issues --- many of us have to go through years of work in resolving our issues, and we sleep right through the nights of those years. Maybe the lunch date, if it encourages you to eat food normally and relearn that it's a pleasant and normal aspect of life, will be useful. Did you tell melissa about having taken all that Topamax and Fluoxetine ?
Maybe your mom, and/or your relatonship with her, could be PART of your problem with food, maybe more in the direction of encouraging you to hide the extent of your illness and of your unhelpful behaviours, than in actually causing them as such.
On learning that one's daughter has been raped, yes, I would expect any competent mother to want to be sure she had a gynae checkup and HIV /STD testing ---make sure that you do have the tests done. Just because someone else might be neglectful, is no reason for you to neglect yourself.
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