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25 Jul 2005

UPDATE: What do you think?
Hi all

Thanks for all your previous advice. It worked. This weekend my gf told me what everything was about and it all makes sence to me now. So I assume she trusts me cause she said she will only tell me the day she trusts me.

And on a good note we also spoke about some minor issues in our relationship and the whole discussion seemed to have turned out ok at that point in time, but as the weekend progrerssed, the way she acts and the stuff she said does not quite line up. I'm not too sure what to make of this. For example, we saw each other on Friday night where everything went very well, then Saturday came and I had her and her folks over for rugby etc and things were still ok, then came Sunday and she could not even look me in the eyes, not even mentioning the fact that she has'nt even touched me, or even made some kind of effort. As cold as ice and as hard as a rock, no emotions for the greater part of the day. (I was beginning to think that I did something wrong???)

Ok, after church I asked her what was going on and she said that she has a lot on her mind. Asking what is on her mind she just said that it's stuff not worth talking about cause talking does not help any more. I could see that this kind of behaviour was forming a pattern. Ok, we went and got some dvd's and once again my patients paid off and she opened up a bit and told me what's going on. She told me this before, so I've come to the conclusion that she is suffering from some kind of depsression. The kind of thoughts she's having is very disturbing. We spoke about her thoughts for a while and she actually suggested that she would like to see a professional after which I told her that it would be a good idea and would get all my love and support.

Now, after all I've told you now, do you think I should just ignore the fact that she's cold and emotionless and blame it on the depression or what? I really don't know what to make all of this and would like to help and support her in any way I possibly can.

Thanks in advance!

Answer 329 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Well, people with a Depression can find it very hard not only to show warm emotions to others, but even to feel these themselves. It sounds like you two have made progress, and that you need to continue to encourage her to see a proper professional, a shrink, about her Depression, as it CAn be helped very substantially, and she deserves to feel much better than this --- which would of course also help to improve things between the two of you. You seem to be handlying it very well so far, and of course by encouraging her to have proper treatment you ARE showing that you have her best interests at heart
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