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25 Nov 2004

Urgent advice!!
She moved in October most of the time she always with b/f I'll only c her when they have fight,on the 29thOct she came to tell me that the has a problem where he stays so he gonna be with us but we will talk instead of talking she brought b/f with the furniture and when I ask what is happening she told she speak to me so she doesnt understand why I have a problem,we ended up arguing,the other she left a friend in the flat for a weekend and when I came back on Sunday i find this person and no one told abt him.Now last on the 8th Nov I told her my friend frm CT is coming over for weekend and my other friend frm pta is coming over 4 2 weeks coz she has a problem with transport coz the she is travelling with is on leave till 29th she didnt have a problem.My friend frm ct had a visitor on mon the 22nd nov so I called her(flatmate)asking her to pls give my friend space since she is expecting a visitor she said fine,she left the place and call her b/f to tell him that I said she must go out of the flat bcoz my friend wants to do sex with the visitor,the b/f called me & shout telling me that he is paying and I mustnt take advantage of his g/f coz she is kind.When I got home we discussed this the g/f said she didnt say to me,but when I ask her if you didnt say yes why go out and call ur man she couldnt answer,so I told her its not the 1st time twist things around and as wish and she has shown me that she cant stand for herself and she doesnt have a backbone to solve her problems,I also told the b/f not to call me anymore coz I dont share a flat with him and they move out month end,she said she is not going anywhere until they have deposit 4 another place,I made it clear to her that she must move out month end.Now today the g/f called her friend the 1 who referred her to me to her that I said they must move out and I dont wanna be wrong Im always right,the b/f talked on the background that she must tell me that if I insist that they moveout he will show me.Pls advise urgently.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Eish, sounds really complicated. Whose place is this ? If it's yours, don't you need to assert yourself and make it clear that she is allowed NO visitors unless it suits you, and then only for a specified and agreed period of time ?
And if this is your place, then she must leave when you tell her to. And if the bf dares to threaen you in any way, complain to the police ( such threats are criminal ) and you can get a court order forbidding him to ever contact you or come near you or threaten you, and the same to apply to her after she moves out.
Sounds like you did the right thing to call the police --- and Paris is very right here ! Good luck tonight, and let us know tomorrow how it goes.
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