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18 Jul 2006

Varsity and illness
I've had an ED and other problems since my tenth grade and I used to write for help here,
Now Im off at varsity like I said I'd go, and Im loving it, have a whole new life, lots of new friends over in Grahamstown,
Yet Im not any better. I still battle with my eating sidorder just like last year in matric , and my drinking, nothing has changed. I am doing so well academically gaining two firsts this semester, and have the nicest friends and am the centre of my group yet nothing has changed. My exams sadden me, because i know I could do so much better, since I spend all my time eating and vomitting and locking myself in my room, I spend all my pocket monet and savings on food to satisfy my illness. Im still extremely thin, but need to do this to satisfy my illness. I wish I could be normal and balance my work time, but i cant cos my illness consumes everything, i have to ignore my friends sometimes cos we all live together and i lock them out just so I can binge from my unbearable starvation.

I had therapy and a psychiatrist back home in school, when it got very severe, yet I never responded to it and wasnt ready to change, Im a very stubborn strong girl. So my mom says nothing anymore, because we're tired of all the drama my eating disorder has caused within my life and my family.

Im really happy over at my varsity yet I wish my mom could drag me home and pull me down in order to get my life back and recover, because quite frankly, I do not have a life besides my everyday drinking and eating. Yet im doing so well at varsity yet I do not know if there is any point in putting my life on hold any longer that it has been cos of this.

Do u think varsity is the best option for me right now, my health is no longer in danger, I am stable , yet am still very ill and have a BMI of 15.
Answer 440 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hello confused,
Nice to hear from you again. Pleased to hear that some things are working our well --- and don't be so hard on yourself --- there's usually no need to perform better than a first ! But sorry to hear that the ED is still troublesome. And it is taking up far too much time, energy, and expense.
Isn't it time to sincerely get involved in proper therapy for the ED, and to become just as brilliantly and skillfully stubborn about getting better ( so as to be able to spend that energy and time on more fruitful activities ) as you have been stubborn in adhering to the ED ? You are hardly stable if you are spending your time as you describe it. See university counsellors and student health, and there should be some competent shrinks in town or nearby able to handle this properly with your help. Good responses from the other readers, too
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