Ask an expert
Question

27 Feb 2004

Web of lies, please help!!!
Ive been going out with my boyfriend for 3yrs now. I couldn’t ask for anything more. He’s everything I have ever dreamed of. Problem is him and his family r extremely rich, he has an honours in business science and a very good job with one of the big companies. He's 29yrs old has his own house, car and the very succesful in his career. Me on the other side im 25yrs, come from a very poor family, im even ashamed of my home, only have a matric and im a switchboard operator. Most people don’t know where I leave as Ive always lied and say I stay in a township which is nearer to my home whereas I stay in a two room house subsidised by the government,which i paid half for but so ashamed of.(b4 we use stay at my uncles house). BF knows my background and has no problem with it, even helps out at home with a lot of things. And I knw most people thing im with him because of his money whch is not the case, we truly love each other and he respects me a lot. I also have 2 sets of friends, those who knw my background frm childhood and the one i met when i started working, who thinks im from a good family. Im tired of lying and want to come out becaue ths is realy depressing me and want to come out. I knw most of them will be so surprised bc as poor as I am i take good care of myself, im very sophisticated, well mannered and studying part time. One day I know I will succed and buy my family a decent house but in the meantime I need to get myself out of this web of lies i got myself into. Doc this is eating my soul!!!

Answer 340 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear nancy,
What actually matters is YOU, and clearly your bf is sensible enough to recognize that he has found something marvellous, which money can't buy --- you. And he's wise enough to appreciate this. Discuss this with your bf, and work out a plan together. You're right that it's an enormous strain to live a lie ( and even to remember which lie you told to which person !) And it's not needed --- anyone who will think less of you, rather than more of you, when they discover that you have come from a poor background and have achieved so much in life, is a fool who is not worth having as a friend anyway. So anyone who has any problem with the truth about you, is someone YOU ought to drop as a friend. The real friends will be as fond of you as ever, and proud of you, as well.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
31% - 9518 votes
No
69% - 20834 votes
Vote