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09 Mar 2004

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My fiance (ex) and I broke up 2 months ago. We were together for 3 years and were very close and we loved each other very much. We broke up because we could not stop fighting and judt brought out the worst in each other. And whenever we tried to sort things out, we just fought again. We did everything together and we were staying together for the past 2 years. I know that last year was a very stressful and that was part of us looding our tempers with each other. The problem is that I still love him very much and miss him terribly. He says that he misses me too but cannot handle the fights. We both agreed that we want to work things out and be together agian one day. What do you think will be a solution to our problem? I know we need some space and time away from each other. But how much time do we need apart? Coz we don't contact each other whatsoever. It has been exactly 2 months that we have been part. So how can the two of us get over this stage and get rid of all the anger and hurt that we have inside of us? Please can you advise.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

N@S.
When you're apart, you tend to remember the good bits ( and to remember them emotionally ) and to forget how painful were the bad bits. You both agree that though fond of each other, you fight a lot, and unpleasantly, when together. Now, if the fights arise from insecurities and problems within each of you, maybe seeing a counsellor and working on your own issues, each of you, might make you more able to enjoy being together, without fighting. I'm not convinced that any specific time of simply being apart, will solve the problems --- apart but without active expert help and your own effort to work on particular problems --- what will change ?
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