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06 Jan 2005

what did i do
I was in a four year on/off relationship with my exgirlfriend.I moved away one and a half years ago 600km from her due to work but still kept in touch and still went home and visited her.

During this last year, i met a nice girl and fell in love with her. She is 7 years older than me (I'm 28) but we are very compitable. I did not know whether i wanted a permanent relationship with her and did not tell her about the ex.

However,our relationship became more and more seroius. I needed to choose. I chose her and told her this big lie that i have been keeping.

Now, we are at a stage to keep the relationship or leave.

I cannot fathom why I did not have the emotional strength to leave my ex alone.

Is it a mistake for her to trust me again and get back together with me?

Any advice on what i should I do about this situation?

Answer 280 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

As you've discovered, lies may be tempting, but very rarely helpful. Paris sums up the important questions very well. Was gf1 still a gf, or a sort of life-boat, or substitute in case relationsip 2 didn't work out ? Don't you owe it to both women, and to yourself, to have a frank and honest discussion of the situation with each of them, and see what, if anything is left ? And if that turns out to be nothing, then be more careful to be frank next time ?
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