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09 Feb 2004

What do i do??
Doc I need some help.

I am 23yrs old with a gorgeous daughter who is three yrs old. Against my parents & family wishes I went out with a guy & got pregnant... cos I thought he was the "one" - (we were sweethearts from school) & since my family would not accept him we decided that the only way for us to be together was for me to get pregnant & we would be forced to get married & then my folks would be have to accept him.

I left home when i was six months prengant & stayed with his parents till my daughter was born. - Thats how i broke the news of my pregnancy to my family.. I left home to go stay at his parents place.
I then left to stay with my folks as I could handle my inlaws & finally we moved on our own. The past three years have been a nightmare.. he hasnt been working for some time now since he got dismissed. He used to lie to me he was working & used to leave in the morning & return in the evenings as if he was going to work but he was not working.
I only found out that he had been dissmised some time back,
when he couldnt produce the rent money at the end of the month.
My parents have been caring & supporting my daughter & myself since we seperated about 8 months ago.
I have tried giving hime a chance but he still doenst want to get his life in order.
My brothers want nothing to do with the issue as they told me at the outset this guy was no good for me & that I should complete my studies & then have a relationship. But if I ask them to assist they would refuse but I cant bare to them they were right.

I now want out & dont have the money or the slighted inkling on how to get a divorce.. I cannot ask my folks for money as I have put them through enough. I know that i will not get mantainence from him cos he has no interest in his child & his only interest is in spending time with his friends & getting drunk.
I know this is not a legal forum but was hoping that one the readers can advise on the correct & most cost effective way of getting a divorce sorted out.. or am I being to hasty?

Please help.

PS I am at the East coast.
Answer 389 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear Had Enough,
Check out the Law Clinic at your nearest law School, which can often provide free or really low-cost advice ; and also whether there's a Family Advocate or something similar at your local magistrate's Court. As you've found, having children in any situation in which a relationship is unstable, is a really bad idea --- kids need to be wanted and loved in their own right, and not created to "force" parents to do anything, or to try to mend a breaking marriage.
Don't be afraid to admit to your brothers, and others, that they were right --- it's not too big a deal, and their help and support could be well worth it. People who care enough to be concerned about what happens to you, but sufficiently outside such a developing relationship, are often able to see flaws and potential problems much more easily than those directly involved in the relationship
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