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29 Nov 2005

What do i do
I have been posting items for the past few weeks regarding the abusive man in my life. I am still confused and i dont know why i am because i know exactly what the right thing is to do.

We had a few more fights, last night regarding my sms messages, he wanted to know who is smsing me and what they want and i told him that it has nothing to do with him, because he had promised me that he would give me my space and wont impose on my personal life and friends. He started shouting and screaming again and accused me of hiding things from him and cheating on him.

On Saturday we had another huge fight. I told him that i cannot take his abusive behavior anymore and i want a divorce. He then told me to get out of the house and as usual said he would kill himself because no one wants him in their lives and no one cares for him. I then told him that i will not leave because the house is as much mine as it is his. He then told me if i dont leave all that will be laeft of me in the morning is a corpse. I went cold and did not know if i should believe him or not. After a while he apologised again as usual and said that he did not mean what he said he was once again angry and he said that that is the only way he can defend himself. This is the reason why we are having problems in the fisr place, because of his abusive behavior and time after time after time he said that he would control himslef and yet when we have a fight he just does all those things again.

Should i take those threats seriously or should i accept that he just said it in anger?

What do i do, if i dont fix this i am afraid i might end up going crazy. He also said that he will make sure that my child never sees me and i dont want to end up losing my child.

My job is very demanding and there have been a few time when i have had to work late and he would then stay at home with out daughter and he says that he has been mother and father to her so there is no way that i will ever get custody of her. Is this true?

Help!
Answer 350 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Its never possible to wisely ignore threats like that, even if he mos of the time doesn't mean them. Call POWA and discuss your options, with an emphasis mon HOW to do what you know you need to do. If he feels his suicide is justified because nobody likes him, suggest he should see a counsellor and work on understanding WHY no-pne seems to like him, and how to become likeable. IF there is a divorce based on an emotionally abusive man who has threatened violence, I don't see how he could prevent you from having custody.
But you have received a large amount of excellent advice and support, and know what you should do for your sake and that of your child --- now just DO IT>
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