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Question

05 Mar 2004

What have I done?
Dear Cyber Shrink

I went out with an old girl friend of mine last night. While I was waiting for her to arrive, I ran into an old high school friend. We ended up joining tables, and having a couple of drinks. We all eventually ended up going back to my place and had more drinks. One thing led to another, and we paired off, and then things got really out of hand. Next thing I knew he was on top of me, and I was asking him not to have sex with me and kept assuring me everything was ok. It was painful to say the least, and when I told him that he just carried on. Eventually I gave in and let him carry on. My body, especially the genital area, is terribly sore today... but I'm sitting with feelings of shame and guilt - I cheated on my boyfriend, and he cheated on his wife. I can't help but feel that had I been a stronger person, things wouldn't have gotten out of hand like this. I don't even know how I'm going to be able to look my boyfriend in the eyes when I see him again. I feel terrible! I told him not to come with last night because I probably wasn't going to stay long... but look what's happened now. What a mess I've gotten myself into...
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Yep, it is a mess, and you recognize how easily it could have been avoided. Alcohol lowwers your inhibitions and removes any wisdom you might normally have -- so stop drinking so much ! A couple of drinks can feel nice, but much more than that and you're seriously at risk for making foolish decisions, or even iving up on decision-making altogether, which is what may have happened here. You are partly to blame, because you seem to have led him on, and agreed to go back to his place, drink too much, and allowed him to get started, before you began to say no. he is crtainly to blame for having taken advantage of your drunken state, and having ignored yhe fact that you did say no.
learn from this experience--- it will be realyl easy to avoid any repetition of it. yes, feeling guilty is uncomfortable --- it's supposed to be unpleasant, so that it will discourage us from being foolish again.
Be prepared to forgive yourself for having been foolish, and the sincerest form of regret is to learn to avoid repetition of the mistake.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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