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03 Jul 2005

what should i do?
a few weeks back i though i was pregnant... i had a three week cycle delay and i waited to do the pregnancy test because i had my exams and wanted to 'concetrate' on them and not think of a baby if the test resulted positive...i am very young only 21 and just finished university, my bf is 28 and although we are in a serious relationship for the past 3 years we were very sad to have a baby... because we were not prepared, we are not marreid, we do not have a house and money... our parents are very conservative and so on...on a friday i would have finished my exams and as a result i would have gone and did a test...some days earlier my period came and we were so happy....

from that experience till now, me and my bf are continually arguing. before we rarely did and in fact in three years up to before this we have had a serious argument three times... now in these last 2 weeks we have been arguing constantly and sometimes over nonsense things... the thing is that i am not seeing us the same couple as we were before...although i told him that i cannot make sex to him again for the fear to get pregnant (yes i know that there are contraceptives but we dont use them... i dont use the pill because it goes against my principles and he doesnt use the condom because he wants to feel the flesh and me to)...however the thing remains that i still desire him with all my heart and to satisfy my desires i am even watching porn movies... i never did that before... i am seeing two different people who have changed after that situation... what shall i do
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hi red rose,
Pleased to hear that the period came and the immediate fear of an unplanned pregnancy is now past. Sometimes stress, like that of approaching exams, can be enough to alter one's hormones and delay a period ; maybe that's what happened. But obviously now is the time to draw the appropriate lessons from that experience, including the need for contraception is you intend to continue having sex while not ready to have a loved baby.
His reasons for not using a condom are totally selfish and irresponsible ; I don't quite understand why using the pill would be against your principles, while having unprotected sex would not be. Aren't there some counselling facilties at wherever you have been studying and taking exams ?
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