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08 Dec 2005

What to do?
I have a very difficult decision to make. I need someone objective to help me with it.

I am a divorced, single mother of a 4 year old boy. My ex does not pay maintenance and does not really make an effort to see my son or contact him. In the past year I think he saw him about 5 times. He lives in Durban which probably makes it difficult, but he can still call.

Anyway, my question to you is this - is it more harmful to my son to see his father, maby once in two months or not to see him at all?

My battle with my ex at the moment is for maintenance - and the courts will assist me with that - I do not want any other conflict - just what would be in the best interests of my son.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

The courts certainly ought to be able to help regarding maintenance, and to force him to pay what he owes. If the guy is so pathetic as to have so little interest in his son, maybe the boy isn't missing much by not seeing him. But rusty's right, that the important issue would be how they react to each other when they do get together. And an excelltn response from ......., too.
I'm not sure, though, whether everyone is actually understanding your question. My understanding wa that you are not considering preventing the father from seeing his son, but wondering whether the father's failure to maintain contact with his child could be harmful to the child. And your decision about involving the loving grandmother, especially under the circumstances you describe, sounds excellent.
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