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08 Aug 2011

What to do?
I met someone a month ago and we saw each other only a few times. I''m not one to develop feelings quickly but somehow I started liking this man. He seemed to like my personality, saying that I''m " sweet" . I thought the same about him. He is very smart and insightful, and always listened to me and remembered things I said later.

Well, everything was going great until our last date. We were at his place and he kissed me. I kissed him back and we kissed for a little while. But then I thought he wanted to have sex and told him we shouldn''t do that. He immediately got confused and upset, said he was feeling weird and didn''t know how to go back to a happy place from there. I tried explaining that I wasn''t rejecting him and said that because of my period. It didn''t change anything. I started to feel strange myself and stupidly said if all he wanted was sex, then I wasn''t interested. That made things even worse. He said he was nothing like that and he didn''t want me to think those things about him. Well, we felt so awkward, I had to leave. He said we''d start over a few days later.

A few days later, I got an email from him saying he still felt I had thought ill of him. He said he couldn''t picture us together again but wished me all happiness in the world.

I understand he doesn''t want to see me again. What I don''t understand is how we could get to this situation. I didn''t think ill of him even once. How did I offend him so much that he can''t see me the same way again? Why can''t he forgive this accident?

I''m positive his intentions were good. He was always tender, always patient. He even asked permission to kiss me. I keep thinking it was all my fault now.

He''s 35, has a job that requires a lot of responsibility. I''d never judge his maturity. Me, on the other hand, I''m 26, professional but inexperienced in many ways. I think maybe I was the immature one.

I want to tell him how I feel but I''m too scared too. I don''t want him to think I''m stalking him. What do I do? I feel we''ll never know how happy we could have been only because of a moment that went wrong.
Answer 324 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sometimes you tramp on someone's sore toes, without having known that they had any. Some accidents are actually accidents. Sometimes we're more clumsy than we intended to be, and maybe this time each of you were a bit more clumsy than normal.
Take it easy. He may have been over-hasty in ending the relationship, however gently, and may re-think. If he really can't do that, then he was less than you thought he was, and it may be best to let him go, and move on
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