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11 Jul 2008

whats going on with her???
Hey..i have a situation with a lady friend of mine. We've had sex on n off ovr the past 5 years or so but i've never asked her to be in my life tho there is something very special about her. I've dated 3 other women in the past 5 years and am involved now. Yesterday i was hanging with this same lady friend and while she was busy with something outside she asked me to switch her phone off for a while. I did but before i did so I couldn't help but to look at her inbox, nothing special there then i went to the 'drafts' inbox, which ofcourse is texts written but not sent out. Lo and behold there is a text wth my number on it, in other words meant to be sent to me. However it was drafted over a year ago, the date was there feb 2007. As my friend was still busy outside i had time to read it over and over and managed to memorise over half of it. It read something like 'Why don't u choose me, what do other women have over me, am i not pretty enough, smart enough, is the sex not good enough? Are other women better educated, better conversationalists, better company to take out? Do they have better hair, better nails, prettier smiles than me? Why have u chosen your present woman over me, do you prefer the way she laughs, the way she smells, the way she talks? What does she have over me? Why do you never ever choose me?'

I can't remember the rest. what shd i do about this?? I put the phone down quickly when i heard her coming back inside and then we just continued to hang out but i was unsettled. She was behaving perfectly normally and from what I know, has done so for five years now. Has she been hiding these feelings al this time? i thought she was ok with just having sex. She knows i have proper girlfriends frm time to time and am hoping to get married soon.

What do i do i now feel very unconfortble around her, must i just cut ties? What shocks me is she has had the draft text in her phone for over a year and still not erased it, does she ask herself these qs every nite?

Look I'm far from perfect I know but i've never hidden frm her that i battle with being faithful to my girlfriends. And when i fall, its almost always with her, in fact i've lost one serious relationship because of her. She is extremely good sex.
In all the time i've known her she has never been involved with anyone and has always bn able to see me at very short notice.


what do i do am pretty freaked out


Theo
Answer 360 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Maybe, without specifically referring to this draft, you should at least talk with her about the relationship, what she thinks it is, isn't and where she'd like it to go, if anywhere. You can talk about how you have valued her as a friend, but that you're now involved with someone else, and hope she's not bothered about this. Treat her with respect, and work towards each understanfing the other better, rather than over-reacting too rapidly to this particular old and unsent message
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