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10 Jan 2005

When will I become stable again?
I'm getting so tired of medication working for a month or two, and then slowly the problems come back. I'm slowly getting depressed again - first I had a crying bout in November. Then another end December. Since then it has been slowly downhill. Feel like crying right now. Then again I also want to slowly strangle my boss. I have to report to her everytime I finish with something and if I don't report she gets highly upset. I do let the person who wanted the work done in the first place know as soon as the work is complete. Plus in the evenings I give her a full report on everything I have done for the day before I leave.

In the mornings she tells me what my priorities for the are going to be. I then accept this and start working down the list. Inbetween she starts sticking in other things that I have to do NOW - whilst still keeping to my deadline of finishing my priority list by the end of the day. I'm tired of trying to keep her happy - I did try over December since its the most difficult month of the year for our company (medical aid plans changing etc. that we have to load onto our systems so that pharmacies can quickly know when they can dispense mediicine and what the levies will be). I worked major overtime hours. I even worked on public holidays ('cept Christmas and the 26th).

It keeps on getting more difficult to keep my concentration on my work and off my depression. What should I do? I feel like lodging a grievance against her, but I'm scared that it will affect my raise as well as my working conditions. I like the company and the work that I do and don't want to lose it. Advice anyone?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Liza, what you're describing sounds like the meds are actually working, but that, as is usually the case, they are not, on their own, enough --- surely you need good counselling / psychotherapy AS WELL, to identify the triggers, sort out the negative automatic thoughts and reactions that are troubling you, and work on improving still further your problem-solving skills for working on the issues troubling you ?
OK, sounds like an over-controlling boss. How annoying. It's a shame that almost always, people are made a boss for office-politics reasons, and never given any actual training in how to be effective as a boss ; so most of them make a mess of it. It's like my old, late, pal Northcote Parkinson wrote, of how everyone in an organization rises to their Level of Incompetence ? If you're good at your job, they promote you -- until you reach a job you can't do ( maybe like your boss ) --- and then they stop promoting you, so such people get stuck all over the organization, messing up the work of others.
When she arrives to add new priorities to the list she already supplied at the start, can't ou ask her which of the original list of priorities they are to replace ? Remind her that the morning list was planned to cover every important priority AND to be achievable within the day, so obviously adding items to the list implies that these new items are more impotan than some of the original list, and ought to replace them, and that as the first list was properly planned to fill the day, additional items could well make it impossible to complete the list within the day.
Can you discus this with you HR people ( short of lodging a formal complaint just yet )? And maybe after the raise is decided, if that'snot too far ahead ?
You are unique in many ways, including being the first person I have met who mourns the postponement of their sky-diving hobby ! Is there any safer substitute in the meantime ? Maybe helping with the skydiving team, such as going up in the plane, or whatever ?
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