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06 Dec 2004

when you least expect it
ok so there i was friday, waiting for all my biking buddies to come together for our beers before we set off ..direction nylstroom and one moerse party the weekend. BMW lifestyle center supply us with a few beers and some orange juice and some koffie en koekies, cause if you know who we are people tend to treat us well, but this is not what i'm trying to tell you, what i actually wanted to say is this, somebody mentions that lizzy, ja lizzy will be coming to the bike rally saturday, and my world just collapeses right there. it has been 5 odd months that i last saw her and like 9 odd months since we last spoke. and my brain goes out of control, so many thoughts running thru my brain that not even i can make sence of my brain, i lose the taste for beer, my mouth goes dry, and i wonder if i should not just get on my bike and head direction south pole. but i do not lose face, put on my iron mask, hide my feelings and grin.

so i spend most of friday night milling around the crowd, see'ng lizzy face in every girl and i realize what i have always known for the last 9 odd months that i still love this woman so much, after all what i have done and made myself think and all i still love this woman so much, so there i was, confused, excited, depressed, happy, all rolled into one. nearly drank nothing the whole of friday night, to the points that my friends and club members started skeeming i might have gone soft mad or whatever as i was drinking more orange juice then there was on offer. Even the bar lady at one stage asked me if i had a problem. Even went to bed friday night at 11:30 SOBER. now boys und grils...that is a seldom seen sight. you got a better chance to see and ufo and naked alien then find brian in bed at 11:30 SOBER at a bike rally.

And then came saturday, was up at 5:30, even had a shower, bruhed my teeth, AND put on clean clothes, club memebers asked if they should phone 911 cause something is just not right with brian. even walked over to the cma tent and got some coffee, wich is also out of the ordenary for brian, as he normally starts a day at a rally with a beer.

and then she arrived at 11:48 at the gate, i could hear the cbr600F4 with the hindle pipe coming down the road from miles away, and my heart skipped a bump, actualy a whole lot of them, got a lump in me thought, and i was standing in the road, and i had that fight or flight instinct for a second, but i just fixated by the yellow light, maybe something like the rabit in the cars healight thing.

and then she parked her bike next to mine and got off and and and and ...said hello and gave me kiss and a hugh and and ..i went as calm as i have not been in the last 9 odd months, that was better then any of those meds that the docs have tried to fry my brains with the last while.

and then i said lizzy, should i walk away here now or should i stay. and she looked at me with those bright green eyes of hers and she said, i want you to stay because i want to talk to you, and i said to her, there is nothing i will hide from you, or filter or lie, i will be an open book, and thenwe started talking and walking around and i think we must have talked nonstop till sunday morning 8:30. we landed up in the swimming pool , and we talked, adn then sometime during sunday night she out of the blue just grabbed me and we held onto each other like teenagers, and we both decided to stop being so hard headed and that we both did extremely stupid things and that we will give it another try and we will make new rules and live by them and and ...and my club memebers mentioned they have not seen me this happy in ages.

and then we went to bed at about 12:30 and i said she should sleep in my tent and it's ok, she can have the blow up matress' ill just sleep on the ground and and ..we stayed awake probaly all night TALKING, and just holding onto each other and we talked and talked some more.

and then she had to leave early cause the friends she was riding with wanted to leave early and she left at about 8:00 and i was in such a daze i could not get myself to pack up and then at about 9:00 i got a sms from her and she said sorry she had to leave but she will wait for me at the petro port and buy me breakfast and she said, remember the rule we made, i'm not allowed to ride my bikes fast anymore as that was one of the reasons she withdrew as she was scared of lossing me. and then i realized i haved eaten since friday morning, and i said, i'll be there now.

suffice to say i think i might have broken the rule a little, but only a little as the gs1150 can only do like 200 on the clock ..but i got the petroport, after waving at the toll gate attendant and not paying, there she was standing at the petro port waiting for me, and she came up to me again and just held me and wispered in my ear saying, ...i timed you and you were going to fast and i would have waited for you here all day.....

went to her house and just lied on her carpet and fell asleep and slept till 4 in the afternoon, and then i had to go to my house. i rode my bike very slowly.

she send me sms last night saying to sleept tight and sweet dreams. i did'nt have a dream, i am in one i think.

she also mentioned that she will try and learn as much as she can possibly about bipolar, and i said i will do my utmost to control it.

today i still think that this is all a dream, this did'nt happen, i have to go look at the pictures, just to make sure ...

Shaun, if you won the lotto this weekend, hey, i dont want that bike you promised, i found something better this weekend ....


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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Thanks so much for sharing your good news and good experiences with us bb ! So, Christmas came early, and a good-looking start to the New Year ! Best of luck, and hope it all works out as well as you both deserve it to do !
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