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Question

18 Nov 2004

Will he hit me?
I have a very heavy heart today. Last night in a fight wih my husband he threatened to hit me. Actually, the word he used was "bliksem". This isn't the first time he's threatened me with violence. He says I provoke him and that I'm disrespectful. I admit that I'm not entirely without fault but what if he actually goes through with it? I just feel so intimidated. And more than a bit scared actually. He knows that he's bigger and stronger than me and that if he wanted to hit me there would be absolutely nothing I could do about it. What does he want me to do? Be the obedient little wife? And he's such a hypocrate! Always carries on about how men who beat women are cowards etc. I've got two little boys. What example does it set for them when their dad threatens to hit their mom?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Lia, yes, this is indeed disrutbing and alarming. Maybe it's significant that though he feels you often provoke and annoy him, apparently he hasn't hit you yet. And of course this is NOT a good example for the children to overhere. Would he agree to join you in marriage counselling, with some tactful persuasion ? Otherwise, you might want to call POWA for advice on handling a poentially abusive situation. Counselling for yourself could deal with perhaps reducing the possibilities that at times you are unhelpfully provocative, but this sort of problem affects both of you, and needs both of you to become involed in it's solution.
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