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16 Jan 2004

Wont wear my Ring
My wife and I have been having problems for a while now and we are now going for counseling next week. I now sleep in the spare bedroom, waiting for her to let me sleep in my bed again I admit it was my idea to move out as she said she needed the space and I thought we should try and be friends first but that was over a month ago!! She has not kissed me in the last three months, nor have we made love. She tells me "Itstill doesnt feel right" Now she wears a silver ring were her wedding ring and engagement ring should be. Am I justified in getting upset about this? How can things ever feel right or show some semblence of going back to normal if we do not carry on as per normal. Now I am not talking about sex here, I can handle that, but I miss sleeping with her, kissing her and I feel she should definately wear her wedding ring. What do I do?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear ADF,
It's entirely understandable that you would find this conduct hurtful. it puzzles me that people who ask others to respect their "need for space" so often show so very little respect for their partner's feelings. As the old character in a childrens book was named : Mrs DoAsYouWouldBeDoneBy. Unless you have done something dreadful, especially in the area of infidelity, it's hard to understand any reasonable excuse for being so deliberately hurtful and inconsiderate. It's excellent to hear that you two will be going for counselling next week, as you will surely learn a lot in that experience, and will have the opportunity to express how hurtful these decisions of hers have been, and how you feel about the necessary components of afection and love, as well as sex, within a marriage. maybe it's best to be patient until then, to ensure that the counselling gets started and on course.
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