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19 Jul 2011

Looming divorce
My wife and I are nearly married for 28 years. Recently I went through a tough time at work and stress has made me neglect my wife. She has now found somebody that she is in love (?)with. I do not want to loose her and is willing to forgive her for violating our marriage vows and make things right between us, but she is very interrested in this other guy. She has even asked me to allow her to spend time with this guy to make up her mind. I can not believe that she could even asked for that. What do I do? Do I let her spend the time with him? This is tearing me apart. I love her very much and want to carry on with the marriage giving my all to make it work.
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Expert
Divorce support expert
Divorce support expert

01 Jan 0001

28 years is a long time together and surely this accounts for some good understanding between the two of you. I would let your wife know that you do love her very much and want to preserve your marriage.
Obviously, anything that happens between consenting adults should be respected and accepting that she spends some time with the other person is your decision only, but a double edge situation.
If she needs some time to re-evaluate her situation give her a bit of space but with an understanding that she must spend this time alone and not with the other person. For her to clarify her situation should be done alone and not with the influence of another person in her life.
You've let her slip away because of some neglect. Let her know of your willingness and motivation to save your marriage first and foremost and perhaps even suggest some couple counselling.
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