Hi Clyde, welcome to our forum and thanks for posting here.

The basics of anal sex are really simple. These include being confident of yourself - which implies that you're confident of being clean - and that you trust your partner to be gentle. You also need to feel both mentally and physically relaxed - you cannot enjoy comfortable anal sex if you're feeling tense or anxious. Much gentle foreplay may be needed to relax your anal sphincter muscles and you need to use a good, long-lasting water-based lubricant. Never attempt anal sex without lots of lube. Try Assegai lubricant - it is made specially for anal sex (visit them at www.tatt2.com). If you're with a partner you trust, you feel confident and relaxed and you guys have lots of gentle, slow foreplay you'll get the hang of it.

Several years ago there were 'ointments' on the market that claimed to assist anal sex. These often contained a local anaesthetic but avoid these at all costs! Anal sex should never hurt and using such an ointment could mask the fact that you're not relaxed. Besides, there's no point in having anal sex if you're not able to feel the sensations. Insist on using condoms and a water-based lubricant – any lubricant containing oils or fat will damage the condom and could expose you to HIV infection.