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08 Dec 2005

Are gay people more emotional than straight people?
Last night I was having a discussion with a few friends all of whom are gay. I heard stories of guys losing their jobs and all their liviehodd because of emotional pain linked to a break up, I have heard of this before and it worries me, is there some phsiological condition here. I want to live a stable life but when I hear these stories it makes me concerened, why is it that gay guys are more emtional with relationships and breakdown and their lives end up in pieces, I hope I am just generalising I sincerely do...... what about straight people ?
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Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Confused - welcome and thanks for posting here.

I disagree that gay guys, generally, are more 'emotional' than straights. Certainly gay people - both men and women - often have to contend with more social pressure, in the form of prejudice, bias and discrimination and have to resolve the crisis of coming out, which could place additional stress on us. And sometimes it is OK to feel stressed and to let off a bit of steam when you're functioning in an often hostile environment.

In terms of people's responses to relationships ending, this is never easy - irrespective of whether you're gay or straight. The emotions are the same for straight and gay people. However, straight people often have a support system under such circumstances which gay people may not have access to - a straight person can speak to their boss or fellow workers if there are problems in their relationship, and rely on them for support; many gay people are not out at work, or can't tell their straight colleagues about their difficulties in their same-sex relationships. Straight people usually have support from parents, extended families and neighbours when it comes to relationship problems - many gay people do not have access to this. We live in a prejudiced society.

Granted, some gay people thrive on drama - we've all know of the archetypal 'drama queen' - but straight people can be equally dramatic. And people can become pathologically dependent on others, irrespective of their sexual orientation.

There’s also a gender dynamic – straight men are socialised to hide their feelings and present a brave ‘Clint Eastwood’ façade of being in ‘control’; some gay men, quite rightly, don’t buy into this and are more in touch with, and honest about their emotions. I’d rather be with someone who’s honest about how he feels.

In short, I think you are generalising and there is no physiological basis to your question.
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