Ask an expert

27 Jul 2005

Bad experiences with men
I've had so many bad experiences with men. And to be honest, I've always looked at other girls, not to compare them to myself, but to see them from a guy's point of view. I know that I'm bisexual and have tried very hard to just stay hetero, but now I'm not so sure whether I want to continue this way. What if there's a wonderful girl out there, that will complement me in ways that no guy can ever do? Went on holiday with my best friend (she's a lesbian, but in another relationship), and met up with some other friends of hers that are a couple. It just seemed so great. The way in which they interacted, as if they were one and the same person. I know from my friend that things aren't always sunshine and roses, and another gay friend has shown his girly side to me very often when it comes to his relationships. What do I do now? My ex-bf with whom I have 2 girls (I have custody) will be furious. He might even try to get custody of them. How do I handle this situation? Just go back to try and find a male companion?
Answer 395 views
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Shirley

Thanks for your posting. You state that you know you're bisexual, but are trying to stay hetero. This sounds like a contradiction. If you're bisexual, how would you try to 'remain' straight? It seems as if you're yearning to be with a woman, but that you're concerned about your ex-boyfriend's response and the custody of your children.

I think you should stop looking at this from a relationship perspective, and rather get some clarity on your sexual orientation. Once you've established whether you're more emotionally and sexually attracted to men or women at this point in your life, you can begin to think about the relationship issue.

Your ex boy-friend cannot have custody of your children taken from you purely on the grounds of your sexual orientation. There's no reason to live a false life. By being content with yourself, you'll be a better mother to your kids.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
32% - 9463 votes
68% - 20193 votes