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19 Apr 2006

Please help! Have never been with a woman but have been smsing a lady I met on Flirt! She is bisexual and sends me these sexual sms's and now wants us to get together! I am in a hetro relationship with lots of problems - could this be why I enjoy her sms's and also the attention she gives me?
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Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Mecer, welcome to our forum and thanks for the post.

Forget about the woman and her SMSes for a moment as this has little to do with her. Ask yourself to what extent you're emotionally and sexually attracted to women and to what extent you're similarly attracted to men. Does your inner fantasy world focus on both men and women, or one more than the other? These facts will give you an indication of your own sexual orientation. Your meeting with this woman isn't about what she wants - it should be about what you want. I'm curious: when you went onto 'Flirt' were you only hoping to meet a man or were you open to the idea of meeting a woman? Would you feel equally intrigued if it was a man sending you these messages? Sure, the attention you're receiving and sexual energy she's creating, augmented by your being unhappy in your relationship, could be playing a part in this but try to figure out how this resonates with your sexual orientation.

On another level, you've told us that your current relationship is already 'problematic' - you need to think about how your meeting with her could impact on you in terms of your relationship. We can all do as we please but we must also be prepared to deal with the consequences of our actions.

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