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03 Aug 2008

can&#39 t breath
Hello how do i tell my Mom that i' ve been living a lie just to please her?How do I tell her that I' m Lesbian without her Stirfrying my brain and without her killing herself?I can' t take it anymore' cant breathe. And im getting too big for this CLOSET.Please help me find a way of telling her without me losing her.
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Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Sade, a warm welcome to the forum and thanks for posting.

You don't need to please your mom! You've been doing it until now and it hasn't benefited either of you.

You are responsible for yourself - your own sense of integrity, your values and morals and the choices you make - and in the same way your Mom needs to assume responsibility for herself. You can only be truthful and honest with her and she must assume responsibility for the manner in which she responds to this. Stop trying to protect her from reality and rather allow her the opportunity to deal with who you really are. You're not too big for the closet - you're simply too mature to keep playing childish games with her. And perhaps your Mom will appreciate your not under-estimating her. It sounds as if you and your Mom have a somewhat manipulative relationship? Maybe it's time to stop playing games with each other.
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