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11 Apr 2006

Confused - new to this
I have been sexual with a woman on a few occasions but I have not had a relationship with a woman. I have had several relationships with men. After having my heart badly broken by a man recently, I have begun to wonder if maybe I am with the wrong gender???

I want to explore lesbian relationships and have a few more encounters with woman and see where it goes but I am completely new to this. Are there clubs to go to? How do I go about meeting lesbian woman??? It's really quiet awkward for me because I am so new to this. I also only moved to CPT about a year ago so I don't know tons of people, and I definitely don't know anyone who I feel comfortable talking to this about so that they can go with my out to gay clubs etc.


Dizzy D
Answer 411 views
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Dizzy D, welcome here and thanks for posting.

I suppose that being emotionally hurt is a good reason to explore relationships with women provided that you're both romantically and physically attracted to women. Having your heart broken by one man doesn't necessarily mean that you're with the wrong gender. We're talking about your sexual orientation, which you can't base on one bad experience.

Cape Town has a gay epicentre near the Somerset Road and Napier Street area, in Greenpoint, with many gay people (both women and men) visiting a network of restaurants, clubs and bars. In terms of spaces specifically for women, call the Gay & Lesbian Helpline on (021) 4 222 500 any day between 1pm and 9pm and ask for contact details for Lush (run by Myrna) and Lipstick. Cafe Erte in Sea Point remains a popular late-night venue. You can also join a social group, OWLS (Older Wiser Lesbians), for women over 30 (call Jen on 083 7676 096) or the lesbian book club (call Lianne on 072 606 2375) but be honest with them about your reasons for wanting to join their groups. Visit Triangle Project (find contact details and directions at for additional information or if want to join the gay and lesbian library. They offer face-to-face counselling and several free support groups through their team of social workers and psychologists and run a Womyn's Health Clinic on Wednesday nights. Browse through the massage column in The Argus and find a woman who specialises in woman-to-woman massage if you’re interested in a purely physical encounter. Find a copy of the free new Cape Town gay magazine, Source, for a day-by-day listing of queer events in the city or get information on gay and lesbian church groups from the Gay & Lesbian Helpline.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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