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28 Nov 2005

Everyone I have really loved has never loved me back.
Throughout my life I have in fallen in love about three times, (really fallen in love) but I have never been loved back. I am 35 years old and have a great personality and I am an athlete. I wish I could live my dreams but I find I am dreaming my life away. I Just feel so empty and tired.
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Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Dreaming A Life, welcome to our forum and thanks for posting here. I see you've been given good advice by several people - thanks guys.

You may also want to look at how your relationships develop. We seldom simply 'fall' in love - there's a process of getting to know someone and making yourself known to that person during which positive feelings develop to the point of love. Often when we 'fall' in love too soon it is strongly influenced by lust or we're creating a fantasy relationship that doesn't really exist, often due to our over-valuing that person (placing him on a pedestal). By paying more attention to your feelings, as they gradually develop in response to the person unfolding himself to you, and coupled with the feedback you receive from him, you should be able to do a bit of 'reality checking' on how the relationship is actually developing. Someone else used the term 'madly in love' on our forum recently - love is not a rational space but we need to be objective about how our relationships are progressing. Try to pace things accordingly. I highlight the reciprocal content of relationships - be sensitive to feedback you're given. If there's no positive feedback you may need to slow down or back away and place your energies elsewhere. In the interim, until you enter your next relationship, work on loving yourself more. Nurture and be kind to yourself and I hope you have a close, warm and loving network of friends who make you feel special.

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