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27 Jul 2005

Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hi Expert,

you said in a response to my previous post "gay parent" that there were parenting groups starting in cape town. when will there be something like that here in jo'burg?

You say the ex doesn't have the right to with hold reasonable access to the kids, that doesn't mean that it will be sunshine and roses. a woman scorened.....

i'm almost sure that she does know, but that doesn't make it any easier telling her to her face.

thanks again this forum, there are a million questions out there and to get even just some of them answered is a god send.
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Expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Dyl and thanks for your response,

There is no organisation in Jhb rendering general support services to the lesbian, gay and bisexual community. You could approach Pretoria's lesbian and gay organisation, OUT - reach them on (012) 344 5108 - and FEW (Forum for the Empowerment of Women) works specifically with Black lesbians. Perhaps it is time for Jhb's community to organise themselves... On the other hand, it doesn't take much to get a support or a social group going - you need a core group of committed individuals who feel strongly about an issue, and some expertise in how to run or manage a group. A support group would require a skilled facilitator (such as a social worker or psychologist) to manage group processes.

I can understand that it will be difficult to come out to your ex wife, but it needs to be done. Prepare yourself emotionally, arrange a quiet time to meet and get it off your chest.

In the event of things turning nasty (which shouldn't happen) you may need to consult a lawyer but cross that bridge only if you have to. Don't approach your ex-wife making any threats or demands or being defensive. Simply get the matter off your chest and allow her to respond as she needs to. She may need space to come to terms with your being gay, but as you say it is likely that she already knows.
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