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17 Mar 2007

How
I'm in a pickle so please hlep with any advice? I'm in a relationship and also fooling around with one of our mutual friends (who's also involved), my partner doesn't suspect anything because the 'friend' and I are gym buds and he knows we spend lotsa time together. Seriously I know how this is wrong so don't preach to me but I don't know how to end it, there's no love with my gym bud but the sex is the best. Also I really love my boyfriend, no doubt about that, and I really really really feel crap about this but I also feel somehow caught-up in this and seriously value my time and sex with the other guy, it's sex I don't have with my partner so use your imagination and some part of me needs and wants both of them. Without shooting me down, any ideas or comments? Oh been with my partner for 3 years and been with my gym bud for close on 3 years and we've been fooling around almost from day 1 we met. Not instant love - instant lust.
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Expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi .. - welcome to the forum and thanks for posting here. You certainly are in a pickle and I like that you say you're "fooling" around.

You're not only cheating on your partner but also on yourself by undermining your own sense of integrity. You're denying yourself a true, sincere, honest and adult commitment to your partner. You say you're feeling guilty and the fact that you've posted here demonstrates that on some level you'd like to stop this.

And you CAN end it. You're not a six-month old baby totally driven by impulses - you're capable of making choices and you need to realise the consequences of your actions. You don't need to feel "...somehow caught up in this..." - as a responsible adult you got yourself into this pickle. And only you can get yourself out of it, if you really want to. Stop playing the innocent victim here - take a hard look at yourself and your actions and do what you know should be done.

Stop bull-shitting everyone, especially yourself. Take control of your life.
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