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04 Aug 2008

It hurts so much
Hey guys,

Really thank you for all your help and support, i really appreciate it. I just finished to phone calls with my parents.

First was my dad, asking me when i am going to come " home"  again, i replied that i dont know and i dont know if i will go " home"  again... (the home has been put in "  because i dont consider their house home anymore)

Then my mom sends me an sms, telling me we must talk urgently, immidialy i phone cause maybe something happened to my sister or my father... no, i should have know, she doesnt think our conversation over the weekend is finished, as she didnt want to make a scene in front of my sister. Well, i consider it done and dusted, why do they want to continue talking? I must now go see some pastoral therapist or something that will cure me... i mean good lord, i dont have an illness, its not something i thought up one evening when i was bored (that was also told to me this weekend) they will even help me pay for this therapy as long as it is pastoral...

I dont need this crap in my life... it was hard telling them, and i cant force them to understand or to accept, i cant even tell them read this or this because they wont do it... i just want them to leave me alone...

It hurts so much, i have been crying off and on for the past few hours, couldnt sleep... i am not even hungry... and a big guy like me loves his food... i just want to curl up and die... then everybodys problems would be solved...

Love

Apache_boy
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Expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Apache Boy - I would avoid a pastoral counsellor at all costs and would rather offer to see a clinical psychologist.
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