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05 Dec 2005

I am new here but hope to find an answer to my 'issue'.
I am married for a couple of years and we still have a great sex life, but I am crazy about panties. I would masturbate often using my wife's panties, but today I decided that is not enough. Today I am wearing one of her panties here at work. The great thing is, no-one knows about it and I feel SOOO great wearing it.
Problem is, I have often fantasized about wearing her panties, and then having a gorgous hunk of a guy removing it for me and then having great sex with me. I am not gay as I am crazy about a woman's body, so, I suppose I am Bi? Or am i weird - I do not know? Confused- yes, so please, what should I do?
Answer 1,222 views
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Bi-Confused and welcome to our forum.

I see that Tammycdtv has already responded - thanks Tammy :) - and that she's raised the issue of your possibly being transgender.

It seems that you have a strongly developed fetish - you attribute erotic and sexual significance to a non-sexual, inanimate object. In your instance, panties. You could be dependent on fantasies related to panties, or actual contact with panties, for sexual arousal or orgasm. Sometimes men with a panty fetish choose to wear panties themselves, which many would interpret as cross-dressing. (It sounds as if you don't often wear panties - and while you say it feels great you don't say whether it feels erotically stimulating or emotionally 'complete'.)

The above are not indicative of your being bisexual or gay - countless straight men are stimulated by women's panties and many straight men wear women's panties. However, your last paragraph refers to your fantasy of being related to as a woman by a straight guy, while you wear your panties. Many straight men have fantasies about being anally penetrated, and it is possible that your wearing panties makes it easier for you to psychologically 'access' these fantasies. Again, this does not necessarily mean that you're bisexual or gay. Being gay would require that you're both sexually and emotionally (or romantically) attracted to men, as opposed to women. Being bisexual would require that you're similarly attracted to both men and women.

I personally think there's a bit of a leap between sometimes wearing you wife's panties and exploring gender-reassignment surgery to become a woman. Call me old-fashioned... My guess - possibly conservative and based on information supplied by you - is that you're a straight man with a significant panty fetish and possibly cross-dressing tendencies. To be able to move beyond that would require far more information and in-depth assessment of your unique situation. That could require a process of exploration and discovery, possibly on the transgender forum here on Health24 or consulting a counsellor or sexologist.

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