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12 Mar 2007

Sad Sad Sad PART 2
So i havnt broke up with him officially. here is the email i sended him:

ahhh you guys i do not want to go back to square one! all lonely...cutting myself i OD-ing on deppresant pills and sh!t like that.

I send him this email:

I REALLY didnt like what happend last nite...i would love to be there
for you in your hard times....but sometimes i also just want to be loved.

I dont want to get hurt- so dont keep me wondering...coz i got enought
shit

happing in my life already.

is it me you want in your life or not.

HE THEN REPLIED:

We should rather talk about these things face to face and not while
either of us are at work.



As far as last night goes I just think you were being rude each time by
wanting to go inside all the time like you did the previous night
without even say a word to anyone and just assuming that it would be ok
to sleep over. Not even I take it for granted that I can always sleep
over... and you've done this before as well.

Did you just think that I would leave >HIS FRIEND WE'RE WE SLEPT OVERS NAME< alone while we were in the shower or room?



I know you want to be loved and who doesn't... I told you how I feel about you and took the wrong way and once again, just sulked and would not talk.



As far as the shit happening in your life... well we all have shit and you are not the only one. But you have not even begun to tell me anything and it has already been 3 months so how am I even meant to understand a thing on why you do what you do! I don't really now anything about you as you don't share and yes I know its hard, but its real hard for me too sharing things as I am not usually very open with my life either.

. . . just because I am not in love with you as I said last night does
not mean that I don't want you around. Things are not that simple... life is not that simple and you need to really grow up and not take things so personally.

Maybe you should be asking yourself if you want someone in your life and if so in what capacity. I have been single most my gay life and will be fine with or without you because I am a strong person. But that does not mean that I don't want to be with you . . .

We can talk tomorrow again and I mean tomorrow so don't call me and think we will chat about things.

xXx

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Expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Spiderman and thanks for this post. It sounds as if you're experiencing very intense feelings and I'm very concerned that you're abusing medication and cutting. Again, I urge you to make contact and come in to the clinic - I will try to phone you as well. If you have an urge to cut yourself rather hold ice-cubes tightly in your hands for as long as you can - your hands will hurt from the cold and the urge to cut will pass.
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