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06 Apr 2006

The couch!
My partner and I have been living together for just on three years and have decided to go our own ways. When we moved in together we both had lots of furniture so we both had to get rid of many pieces. My ex girlfriend had a couch she was particularly fond of but it wasn't quite right for our new space. So I persuaded her to give it away and I bought a new couch. Now that we're splitting we've agreed on everything except the couch (which isn't so new anymore), she says it is hers because I "forced" her to get rid of her previous couch. I'm saying I paid for it fully so it is mine. So we're clashing over a dumb couch, I know this sounds crazy but does she have any claim to it? I'm feeling quite hurt about the breakup, much more than she is so I'm trying not to be vindictive or punitive but I'm also VERY irritated that she's more concerned about a couch than about me. Should I let the couch go and back off, or must I take a stand here?
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Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Uptight and welcome to our forum. Sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time.

I doubt this is merely about 'the couch' - it sounds as if the couch has assumed a symbollic meaning, possibly of a comfortable, cosy space in both your lives that has now been lost. Try to work out why the couch is so important to you and then talk to her - tell her, as you told us, how you feel that she seems to care more about the couch than about your feelings, that you're really hurting and that you think she's being unfair. Hopefully she'll back off.

I doubt she has any legal claim to the couch unless you bought it as a gift for her.

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