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05 Dec 2005

What now?
I have a problem that I am really struggling with. I am in a relationship with a really stunning girl and we have a great sex life. My problem is that I am attracted to men as well and often fantasize about having oral sex with a man or being penetrated by a man.

I am very confused and am too scared to discuss this with my girlfriend because I dont want to hurt her.
Answer 206 views
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi DC, welcome to our forum and thanks for posting here.

As we've stated frequently on this forum, all people are situated somewhere on a continuum between being totally straight and totally gay. Your inner fantasy world and the fact that you're also attracted to other men indicate that you may be located in an area some people would define as bisexual.

I'm not sure that you necessarily need to discuss this with your girlfriend (unless you discuss all your fantasies with her?), because at this stage that's all it is - fantasy. Many straight or bisexual people - both men and women - have homo-erotic fantasies and don't feel compelled to share these with their partners. There's no need to feel scared by the content of your fantasies and most people would agree that you're not being unfaithful to your partner - who of us hasn't had fantasies about someone else while we're with our partners?

If you have a need to talk about this, call the Gay & Lesbian Helpline on (021) 4 222 500 any day between 1pm and 9pm.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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